Hey ladiessss!

I’m coming to NYC Pride June 28-July 2… If you see me ask me for some free rodeoh.com gear I’ll have a ton to pass out … Lets meet up follow me on twitter for updates where I’ll be with free stuff!

@askAjAnything

I learned last week that Rupaul’s Drag U was not going to be renewed for a 4th season. I’m honestly not surprised at this. As some of you know I was on that show (if you want to watch click this link) and won my makeover.

The idea of the show always seemed a little weird to me and honestly I wasn’t a big watcher of the show before I was on it, because it’s just crazy and unbelievable that real life women would actually start to dress that way on a daily basis after the show. Tammy Faye was the only person who could of pulled it off.

The whole premise of the show was to take sad, frumpy women and give them this makeover and show them how beautiful they are. Mine was just to have me show my boobs and live this new found femininity. 

It was 3 butchy butch dykes, me Julie Goldman and Skyler Cooper and the weird thing is we all knew each other before the show. I didn’t know any of them were going to be on it, however. When we initially walk out to the runway is when you first see everyone and i saw Julie and walked up next to her and was like “ummm….I just was at your comedy show last week”.

The show was slightly scripted with retakes and the director leading the way “can you do that again, but say it like this?” kinda stuff. Then we have a dress rehearsal and they were like “and AJ wins so Skyler you and Julie exit this way”…So much for anticipation. Clearly, none of us ever were going to use the “skills” we learned at DragU, if you saw any of the 3 of us today we are as bad ass butchy as we were the day we showed up on “campus”.

No, I didn’t keep anything from the set, not the shoes the dress nothing. I did keep the Spanks because aint nobody getting any hot crotch spanks I had on for 12 hours, nobody.

RIP DragU…you tried really hard, you did.

I was just filling out this job application and spelled promotions assistant wrong and spell check wanted to correct it to “prostitution assistant”…that job sounds amazing also.

anyone good with graphics and can make a cool channel banner for me for youtube? i know someone can whip this out in like 2 minutes but since I don’t have Photoshop its literally impossible. 

if anyone wants to be so kind, you can email me it when you’re done at askajanything@gmail 

dimensions are: : 2120 x 1192 

all i want is it to say “tuna talk” in rad font.

i dunno why  my font just changed either. 

see this is why i need you.

There must be a lot of lesbian paleontologist in Palm Springs, because I hear them talking about “dinosaur weekend”.

;)

So the week is here. Ladies your Dinah Diet is ending, time to go to Palm Springs and eat….umm…eat food! yay food! 

For those of you who don’t know what Dinah Shore weekend is - it’s when thousands of lesbians ave a mass sexodus to Palm Springs, CA for one weekend and turn into their own lesbian party, think gay Mardi Gras minus the floats replace them with Subaru OutBacks.

I’ve gone to Dinah several years now. Maybe a veteran at it, I know all the secret handshakes, parking spots and have collected many lanyards to the events. I’m not bragging, just saying. It’s happened.

For those of you not going to Dinah or dream of one day going to the promise land of lesbians and honey, I’ll try my best to paint a visual picture for you with my horrible grammar and sarcastic reconciliation of events. 

If you are going to Dinah Shore make sure you save your money, recycle cans, sell your eggs, do what you can to finance this. Events can cost upwards to $100, unless you have some magical hookup, sneak in or just go to the after parties.

Hotels are usually jammed pack that weekend from the seediest motel to the host hotel. Now, the host hotel is where you want to be, that IS where the party is at. You know you’re at the host hotel by how the lobby is filled with sunburned lesbians laying across couches covered in Bud Light party beads, the fighting couple in the corner who’s fighting, but really quiet and the one girlfriend keeps flapping her arms around in anger, and then there are the “newbies” to Dinah who stand against the wall with their sunglasses on inside whispering to each other whenever someone walks by.

Being at the host hotel means you are somewhat lesbian royalty that weekend. You are a short walk away to just about everything with the comforts of your own bathroom close at hand. 

To be one of the Kings of Dinah you need a hotel room with a balcony facing the pool. This gives you prime access to shout at everyone who walks by, you can hand out stuff from your balcony, have a party on your balcony, and who doesn’t want a party within a party. You hang signs off this balcony and invite girls up to your room from this balcony. Squirt girls with squirt guns like we are 5 again and it’s OKAY!! Basically we act like balconies only exist in palm springs and never are to be seen until next Dinah…. to have one is immediate popularity.

Only downside to a balcony is the morning events because the music starts playing no joke from 8am-just about till dawn.  A few years ago one of the events was “morning workouts by the pool”, no joke. Whoever has the energy to go work out at 8am after the night before either was still wake and drunk or the personal trainer hosting them. One event we couldn’t stop laughing at was the “shake weight” workout. Nothing funnier than a group of half awake lesbians trying to use something as awkward as a shake weight. If I wasn’t half asleep and the sun burning my retinas as I peeked out my blackout curtains I would of filmed it for YouTube.

The White Party, is well, you wear all white and pay $100 to stand inside a convention center with the same people you hung out with all day at the pool. *Shrug* Truth is true. One year The White Party was amamamamamaaazzzaaannggggg…..Lady Gaga performed! It was more like “lady who? oh the one that sings Poker Face?”. It was before she was a Fame Monster, so yes, that was amazing. This years performer is Havana Brown (who?).

There’s always a pool party on Saturday that’s not usually as big as Sundays. Saturday is like the warm-up to Sundays pool party. It’s like scouting for locations, meeting people, seeing who has the balcony properties. this year Kat Graham (who?) is performing Saturday.  

There are a few fundraisers sprinkled in the bigger parties, for the more low-key crowd. Maybe I’m cynical now about Dinah and need to try these lower key parties..I do like poker pokingerrr…..nahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

The attire for Dinah weekend is usually: bikinis, board shorts, flip flops, ball caps, wife beaters,cargo shorts easy to smuggle beers and other stuff into rooms with, tattoos and sunglasses. Seriously. That’s all you need to wear. Everyone usually brings one bag of clothes and 16 suitcases of beer and liquor. The cool thing about Dinah is if you randomly meet people in the hallway and they invite you over to their room, everyone has a STOCKED FULL room. So wherever you go, there you are, with a red cup in hand.

Oh! one slightly nerdy tip but deal with it - Lock your bags. You know those mini locks you get for your suitcase when you’re flying, those also apply to your bags at Dinah  I know we love everyone when super nuclear hot sun and alcohol is frying your brain, but I did have a friend lose some stuff from her bag one year. So, lock yo shit in your room when you’re done!

Sunday! SUNDAY! S-U-N-D-A-Y! This is the biggest pool party of the year on planet earth. This is where girlfriends break up and get with their future wife a matter of minutes. You have to get there early and lay your towel down on the grass or grab a chair by the pool. Space is limited since there’s 80090939437 people there. The main stage that day has a bunch of events and DJ’s. The weird thing is you slowly start to circle around this gigantic pool unknowingly, almost like a lazy river but walking  Maybe the mixture of alcohol and just the slow push of the crowd. I swore I circled that pool at least 6 times that day not really noticing.

There are vendors there usually selling some crafty items. You know us lesbians are good with our hands and we like to show it off. Swing by and show them some love, some have free shit and everyone loves free stuff.

There are the brave girls who actually GO SWIMMING AT A POOL PARTY!  These girls automatically become the center of attention, because duh, the pool is in the center. These girls are the ones who have tried really hard to make that banging Dinah body, and most have succeeded  The random piggy back rides start, the giggling…its actually hot, I’m not hating on it at all. Go on little mermaids, get in the pool, go on!

As I mentioned earlier there is a main stage and this years featured performer is Dianah King (who?). Right.

Oh - Uh Huh Her is performing Sunday night….tickets are all available on the Dinah website or also available if you know cute people who have all -access and you can flirt your way into tickets (just saying ladies *fans tickets out*) tweet me ladies @askajanything

Sunday night there’s a closing ceremony party, we lower the Dinah Flag, girlfriends make amends and we head back on the 10 West towards LA. Sunburned  broke, hungover….but what a weekend!!!!!!!!!!!!

There is a Dinah Shore esque party in Vegas. Anyone gone??? Maybe I’ll try it out.

see ya!

The divorce rate in the US makes your ‘1 Mom & 1 Dad’ sign look, like, so gay.

I get so mad when I see people who had other people fight for their civil rights in the 50s, fighting AGAINST equality now.

There. I said it.