(written in “If You Give a Mouse a Cookie” form)

If you give a lesbian a kiss, she’s only going to ask for your number. When you give her your number, she’ll probably text you all day. When she’s finished texting you, she’ll probably stalk you on facebook. Then she’ll friend request you and make sure her status says single.  When she adds you to facebook, she notices her profile picture isn’t her sexy one. so, she’ll change it to one she took in the bathroom mirror. When she’s changed her profile picture, she’ll make a cryptic post only you’ll know what she’s talking about. She’ll also start to “like” your posts. She might get carried away and “like” every post you’ve ever made! you’ll have to text her and and ask why she’s doing that. She’ll act like she doesn’t know what you’re talking about a few times. So you’ll change the topic, and ask how she’s doing. She’ll then says she’d like to hang out soon. When you mentioned getting drinks this week, she got REALLY excited. She’ll ask for a place and a time. She’ll tell everyone she has a date, and puts a reminder note on the refrigerator door so her roommates see. Which also means she’ll need a new outfit. She’ll show up to the date hanging all over you so her friends can stare at you like a crayon drawn picture.  But….once your back is turned you see her kissing someone else…and chances are if she’s kissing her she’s going to need her number to go with it….